Order of Wedding Speeches
Order of wedding speeches: the traditional UK order and how to plan yours
The traditional order of wedding speeches in the UK is the father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man. That order is a custom. It has no legal standing, and plenty of couples change it. This page explains the usual wedding speech order, the common variations, when to hold the speeches and how long they should be. The builder below turns your choices into a running order with timings that you can give to your venue.
Speech running-order builder
Use the Up and Down buttons to change the order. Nothing you enter is saved or sent anywhere.
The traditional wedding speech order
If you are asking who gives speeches at a wedding, custom gives three people a speech, and each speech ends with a toast.
| Order | Speaker | What they usually cover | Toast |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Father of the bride | Welcomes the guests, talks about his daughter and welcomes her partner into the family. | The couple |
| 2 | Groom | Replies on behalf of the couple, thanks both families, the guests and the wedding party, and speaks about his partner. | The bridesmaids |
| 3 | Best man | Replies on behalf of the bridesmaids, tells stories about the groom and reads any messages from people who could not come. | The couple |
This is the order that UK venues and toastmasters will expect unless you tell them otherwise. It grew up around one kind of wedding, so treat it as a starting point and choose the people you want to hear from.
Modern variations on the order of wedding speeches
Both partners speaking
The bride often speaks after her father and before or after the groom. Some couples give one joint speech and take the thank-yous in turns, which keeps the total time down.
Same-sex couples
There is no template to follow. A common pattern is one parent or friend from each side, then one or both partners, then a best man or best woman. Decide between you who replies to whom so that thank-yous are not repeated.
Mothers, bridesmaids and best women
A mother can speak instead of or as well as a father. A chief bridesmaid, maid of honour or best woman often speaks just before the best man, or takes the closing slot. A step-parent, sibling or close friend can take the opening welcome if that fits your family better.
No-speech weddings
You do not need speeches at all. Some couples say a short thank-you together and raise one toast. Others ask guests to write messages, or keep speeches for a dinner the night before. Tell your venue, because the meal can then run without a break.
When to hold the speeches: before, during or after the meal
The timing affects the kitchen as much as the speakers, so agree it with your venue and caterer before you print an order of the day.
| Timing | Works well because | Watch for | For the venue and caterer |
|---|---|---|---|
| Before the meal | Speakers can relax and enjoy the food. Guests are fresh and attentive. | Guests are hungry, and an overrun is felt by everyone. | The kitchen needs a firm finish time. Hot food cannot wait if speeches overrun, so give honest timings and stick to them. |
| Between courses | Each speech gets its own moment and no one sits through a long block. | Speakers stay nervous through the meal. The meal takes longer overall. | Service has to pause and restart several times. The caterer needs a cue before each course, and staff should stay out of the room during each speech. |
| After the meal | The usual choice. Guests have eaten and the toasts lead into the cake and the evening. | Speakers wait the longest. A late meal pushes speeches into the evening reception. | The simplest for the kitchen. The venue needs time afterwards to clear and turn the room round before evening guests arrive. |
Whichever you choose, give the venue a named person who will cue the speeches, check that glasses are filled for the toasts and ask about a microphone.
How long should a wedding speech be?
Around five minutes is enough for most speakers. A best man’s speech often runs a little longer, at about seven minutes. Guests start to tire when the whole set of speeches goes much past half an hour, so with four or more speakers ask each of them to keep to three or four minutes. Reading a speech aloud with a timer is the best way to know its length. Allow a little extra on the day for laughter and pauses.
Worked example
The father of the bride speaks for 5 minutes, the groom for 5 minutes and the best man for 7 minutes. Speeches are after the meal and start at 17:30, with 1 minute between speakers. The builder gives the father of the bride 17:30 to 17:35, the groom 17:36 to 17:41 and the best man 17:42 to 17:49. That is 17 minutes of speaking and 19 minutes in total. These are the builder’s opening settings, so you can see the same result above.
Speeches are a reception custom and are not part of the legal ceremony. For the legal requirements of a wedding in England and Wales, see GOV.UK: plan your ceremony (opens in a new tab).
Wedding speech questions
What is the traditional order of wedding speeches in the UK?
The traditional order of wedding speeches in the UK is the father of the bride first, then the groom, then the best man. The father of the bride welcomes the guests and toasts the couple, the groom replies and thanks people, and the best man speaks last. This is a custom and you can change it.
Who gives speeches at a wedding?
By custom the father of the bride, the groom and the best man speak. Many couples now add or swap speakers, such as the bride, both partners together, a mother, the chief bridesmaid or a best woman. Nobody has to speak, and a wedding with no speeches is a normal choice.
How long should a wedding speech be?
Around five minutes suits most speakers, and a best man’s speech often runs to about seven. With three speakers at 5, 5 and 7 minutes and one minute between them, the builder on this page gives 17 minutes of speaking and 19 minutes in total. Keeping the whole set under about 30 minutes helps hold the room’s attention.
When are speeches at a wedding?
Speeches are most often held after the meal, before the cake is cut and the evening guests arrive. Some couples hold them before the meal so nervous speakers can relax and eat, or spread them between courses. Tell the venue and caterer which option you have chosen, because it changes when food is served.
Can the bride give a speech?
Yes. The bride can speak alone, or the couple can give one speech together. A common place is after the father of the bride and before the best man, either alongside or instead of the groom.
What is the wedding speech order for a same-sex couple?
There is no set wedding speech order for any couple, so choose the people you most want to hear from. A common pattern is one parent or friend from each side, then one or both partners, then a best man or best woman to finish.
Find a venue for your wedding
venues.org.uk is a directory of UK venues. You enquire with each venue directly.
Related tools
Share your order of wedding speeches with the venue before the day. You can browse wedding venues on venues.org.uk.